People who are in a relationship know that emotional connection is the basis of a lasting relationship and avoid fighting and irritation. Yet it turns out, from many conversations I have had with couples, that that connection very often turns out not to be there.
Emotional connection goes beyond liking each other, talking about each other’s hobbies or asking how their day was. Emotional connection is about safety, trust and empathy, on both sides. As a result, you can hear each other’s needs, fears and desires and have no judgment about it. Both partners then dare to be vulnerable and share their feelings with each other.
Can you honestly say that you can share your deepest feelings with your partner and are not afraid of being judged?
A strong emotional connection is necessary to be able to properly overcome challenges and obstacles in life. There will be conflicts, disagreements and external pressure. But if you have a strong foundation, you can deal with this together. You grow together and you understand each other better. Together you can find a solution to the problem you are facing.
But unfortunately, I often see it differently. I see two people who are not connected at all. There is detachment, incomprehension, frustration and sadness. They both feel unheard, which makes them feel lonely.
Can you imagine feeling lonely while your partner is sitting next to you on the couch?
This is not a desirable situation, because it causes you to become further and further away from each other. You feel emotionally insecure and unloved. In this way, nothing positive can grow.
Blame like ‘you never talk either!!’ Is a common attempt to get in touch with the other, but it won’t work. The other person then feels even more inclined to retreat.
Building emotional connection is possible, but it takes time and effort. The key words are communication and empathy. Talking to each other, showing understanding, telling your real emotions, that’s where it starts.
If this basis is there, there can also be room for affection, touches, sex and solving problems.
That sounds simple, I hear you think.
It’s just not easy to do, I’m the first to say it.
But that’s what I’m for, I’ll help you with that.
